If You Were the Pope

if i were the king
of your pumpkinheaded land
i’d cross the burning deserts
just to kiss your velvet hand
i’d paint my hair the color of your eyes
& tell you stupid things
& do my best to impress you
if i were the king

& we all find ourselves on the express bus of destiny sometimes…

if you were the queen
of my imaginary home
i’d wash your feet in soda pop
& dust your mother’s bones
i’d wrap you up in cellophane
& keep you squeaky clean
i’d do my best to impress you
if you were the queen

& we all find ourselves in the crosshairs of destiny sometimes…

if you were the pope
of the holy roman church
i’d find you little boys to grope
& help you in your search
to find the head of baphomet
& raise the minimum wage
i’d serve you snacks & mix you drinks
& dance inside your cage

i’d laugh for you!
i’d cry for you!
i’d run & skip & lope!
i’d go on & on & on & on & on & on for hours
doing my best to impress you
if you were the pope

& we all find ourselves in the backstreets of destiny sometimes…