Category : mental health

Zero Chill

counting off on one hand
all the ways i think i’ve changed
blind on one side
blind on the outside
fall to zero
none too cool

i’ll never feel this way again
i’ll never burn this fuel again
burn bridges
pants on fire
burn this whole house down

moving on

counting off on one hand
all the ways i feel i’ve changed
chained up one side
shackled on the inside
repeat, repeat
with zero chill

i’ll never feel this way again
i’ll never feel so strange again
my body crumbles into sand

Self-Diagnostic 6

It’s been five months since my last self-assessment post, but as I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how I’m doing and where I am, I thought I’d go ahead and write a post. Get it all out of my head. Goodness knows I have a lot in my head. Not all of it needs to be shared, but here’s this. (more…)

Getting Things Undone

I’m starting this blog post with some ideas bouncing around my head and no idea how, or if, I’ll finish it. Here we go!

We live in a society built from industrialism, an ecosystem of factories connected to other factories, all within larger factories. Our school lives and our work lives revolve around the clock. Our schooling is mostly centered around being productive. Most of our jobs are centered around being productive. (I remember a McDonald’s commercial that ran while I was an undergrad, where an actor playing a McDonald’s employee says proudly, “At McDonald’s, we say if you’ve got time to lean, you’ve got time to clean.”) The unemployed, people on welfare and other social assistance, are demonized as being “unproductive” members of society. The business world has produced books, videos, self-help lectures, webinars, blogs, etc etc etc about increasing your productivity, and this has spun off into the creative world, home life, school. We’re wasting time doing things that don’t help us be productive, so we need to be better at managing our time, better at prioritizing our projects, better at getting things done. (more…)

Here There Be Draggin’

I spend a lot of time thinking about writing. Much more time thinking about it than actually doing it. Okay, that’s not entirely true. I’ve been writing poetry consistently for a while, posting poems twice a week. I tweet a lot, I post little rants and raves on Facebook, but fiction? Not so much with the fiction writing. Just thinking about the fiction writing. (more…)

Being Gorgeous Me

i sit here in this room
i sit here in this room
this room oh sweet sweet tungsten
this room oh sweet sweet tungsten
tongue stain the barracks black
peach lightbulb blowup bubblegum blew
& spoon decide the icicle train
ribs floating floating floating in the washdamp river of
blood blood blood blood blood
before dragoon so quickly a gopher
go forward fresh sweet sweet oh sweet
sweet toasted cinnamon tie
sweet toasted cinnamon ghost who sews forever in
the stone oubliette you flew into the grey
behind the rolling rolling rolling desktop soupbone icicle train
for never had you gone gone gone

for never had you gone except a bus stop rainblo focusgroup
to scam the daylights out of the forest &
poof pow pockmark picky poodle
kapow kaboom carom around the mulberry blushmirror
& spoon decide the icicle train you hopped on
pop pop click crash bang
& now i sit here in this room with honey biscuits &
a coat of paint, a coat of arms, a horse’s head, geography, cartography, a knitted cap, a cap of bells,
a broken broom to sweep the spasm cinders from your eye

i wish
i wash to rush the sweet sweet cinnamon tyke who toddles
due to icecube etiquette & green green cotton catch
so quickly a gopher
so quickly a shattered spark all shiny shoofly shutdown
& spoon decide the icicle train
go forward fresh
go forward fresh
sweet toasted cinnamon ghost of chains
a change of view
of puppet strings & wax parade before dragoon so quickly a gopher

go far in life
go far in life
but miss the crimes you spy at night
while i sit here in this room