In the Grey

TIL the term “Sensualarian” and discovered that it best sums up how I feel about relationships. I also realized that I don’t like the word itself and would never want to label myself with it. It sounds clumsy and icky to me.

From the wiki: “Sensualarian refers to someone who ‘blurs’ the lines between the types of relationships (romantic, platonic, sensual, sexual, etc). They do not fall into ‘official’ relationship categories, such as boyfriend/girlfriend, friends with benefits, fiancé/fiancée, spouse, etc. These relationship titles may feel too constricting for these individuals as they feel that their partner(s) provide more or less than just what is typically seen in any given relationship category.”

Labels are great when they work for you, not so much when they don’t. I’m finding it more and more uncomfortable to apply labels to my relationships, besides the broadest terms (that person is a friend, that person is one of my best friends), and applying labels to myself that express my orientation towards relationships. Which isn’t to dismiss my earlier posts in which I defined my relationships to certain people, just that…as long as there’s openness and honesty in my relationships that are intimate in some way, I don’t really care to define or label my relationships with the world at large. I’m getting to be more comfortable in the grey areas of relationships, finding binaries and labels increasingly ill-fitting.