I’m trying to write something about how long and difficult 2020 has felt and how I’m doing my best to keep my eyes focused on just being here now while also looking at lights in the road ahead, better times coming. But the words aren’t doing what I’d like them to do, I keep erasing and starting over. Here’s one more try (hopefully the last try) to say this: (more…)
There’s now more to the story from the other day when I ran into my apartment complex’s maintenance man outside my building. (more…)
Something strange happened yesterday and the strangeness only just hit me. (more…)
One thing I’ve been telling myself, as a form of gratitude and optimism, is that I’m glad we’re going through a pandemic instead of a war. At least in a pandemic we’re all on the same side, all fighting the same enemy. (Well, except for the greedy and corrupt people in power who are on no one’s side but their own. Of course, that’s true in every scenario.)
But it just occurred to me that I would have been more psychologically prepared for a war than for this. America being in yet another war wouldn’t surprise me. “Trump starts a war” was probably on more bingo cards than “sudden global pandemic.” No wonder this has knocked me (and, I’m guessing, other people) for a loop.
I left my apartment today, the first time in four days. I had an appointment with my therapist, which is one of the best reasons to leave your apartment when you’ve been hiding from a virus-stricken world and you’re all stocked up on anxiety. (To be fair to myself, anyone who isn’t even a little scared and upset about things right now is either an enlightened Zen monk or someone stupid enough to help this virus spread by not taking the right precautions.) (more…)